Friday, January 21, 2011

Athenabean presents-100 SEINFELD QUOTES


Jerry: Hello!

Jerry: So we go into NBC, we tell them we've got an idea for a show about nothing.
George: Exactly.
Jerry: They say "What's your show about?" I say "Nothing".
George: There you go.
Jerry: I think you may have something here.

Kramer: Who wants to have some fun?
Jerry: Well let's start the insanity.
Kramer: Giddy-up.

George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay!
Elaine: Shut up.
George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay!
Kramer: Wet and wild.
George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay!
Jerry: Delores!

George: The sea was angry that day my friends...
Jerry: ...super-terrific carpal-tunnel syndrome.
Elaine: Stella!
George: I'm sorry, the card says "Moops".
Elaine: A bird ran into my giant freak-head.
Jerry: I got jiggy with it!
Kramer: I broke the covenant of the keys.
Elaine: I'm speechless! I am without speech.
Kramer: Oh, I got the ball.
Jerry: THAT is one magic loogey.

George: The surprise blindfold greeting. That wasn't in the manual.
Kramer: A coffee-table book on coffee tables.
Jerry: Hello, Newman.
Elaine: Is it possible that I'm not as attractive as I think I am?
Kramer: Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty.
George: I'm gonna need some water here!
Elaine: Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma!
Jerry: Little Jerry's a lean mean pecking machine.
George: I'm speechless. I have no speech.
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma!
Jerry: Not that there's anything with it!

Kramer: (to Newman) Oh, I'm looking right at you big daddy.
Jerry: She had man hands.
Kramer: You're an anti-dentite.
Jerry: You're a massage teaser.
Jerry: So he's bizarro Jerry.
Jerry: That is one tough monkey.

Elaine: He's a re-gifter!
Jerry: He's a real bounder...
Elaine: He's a real... sidler!
Jerry: He's a mimbo.
Jerry: She's one of these low talkers...
Jerry: A long talker.
Elaine: A high talker.
Jerry: A close talker.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah I am batman.
Jerry: Well, now we're getting somewhere!

Elaine: He's short, he's stocky...
George: ...I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.

Jerry: She enjoys teasing animals, banlon, and seeing people running for their lives.
Elaine: (to Crazy Joe DaVola) I'm a *day* person.

George: ...a horse face, big teeth and a pointy nose.
Jerry: ...a man who respects a good coma.

Elaine: ...a tall lanky doofus...with hair like the bride of Frankenstein.
Kramer: I'm Cosmo Kramer!

Jerry: But are you still 'Master of your domain'?
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma!
George: I am 'King of the county'.
Elaine: I'm 'Queen of the castle'.
Jerry: 'Lord of the manor'.
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma!
George: I hate The Drake.
Elaine: I love The Drake!
Kramer: I'm out!

Elaine: The big salad
Kramer: The Bro
Jerry: Junior Mint
Elaine: Urban sombrero
Kramer: Fusilli Jerry!
Jerry: Rochelle Rochelle
George: Significant shrinkage!
Elaine: Fake, fake, fake, fake.
Jerry: Golden boy
Elaine: Chocolate babka
George: Bosco
Elaine: Sponge-worthy
George: Buffer-zone
Elaine: This, that and the other.
Kramer: Happy Festivus!
Elaine: Maestro
George: Tippy-toe! Tippy-toe!
Elaine: Yada yada yada...
Jerry: I think I may have made a big mistake.
George: Comfort-shmomfort
Jerry: Friendship-smienship
Timmy: You double dipped the chip!
Elaine: I keep thinking that goiter is gonna start talking to me.
Kramer: I'm dangerous, Jerry... I'm very, very dangerous!
Jerry: That guy's gonna put the kibosh on me!
Elaine: Jerry, how can I go on!?
Soup Nazi: No soup for you!

George: But I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate... I got it all!
Jerry: But I don't want to be a pirate!
Babu: You bad man, you very bad man!
Jerry: I've swept myself off my feet!
George: I have no hand!
Jerry: Sweet fancy Moses.
Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell!
Jerry: Well, let's cut the bull, sister.
Jerry: The wheels are in motion.
George: Everytime I think I'm out, they pull me back in.
Elaine: It's "Suzie", it's not "Suze".
Kramer: You stubborn, stupid, silly man.
Jerry: Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country?
Kramer: I'm not a pimp!
Jerry: I don't wanna be Switzerland.
Elaine: Go work on your pecs and your lats... we're all really impressed.
George: It's Thunderdome!
Kramer: You're freaking me out!
Jerry: I'm freaking out. I am freaking out!
George: Serenity now!

Helen: Oh you have to go, you have to.
Jerry: I'm going.
Hellen You have to!
Jerry: O-kay.

Jerry: Buh-bye.


* 100
* quotes
* seinfeld
* athena
* bean
* jerry
* kramer
* elain
* funny

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